What if it does, though? What if... what if it's all Toki's fault?
[He's always been so desperate to make friends, but so terrible at it. What if this has just been a bunch of flukes, and everyone's going to leave him eventually?
He tries to push the thought down as soon as he has it. No, he's got no reason to believe any of that. Kalmiya's here, and she's lovely, and all of his other friends are just fine too. He can't just start thinking they'll... betray him or something.
Like Magnus. Shouldn't think about Magnus. He shakes his head, the motion continuing into the Murmur.]
It's not, [she insists, firmly but not unkindly.] This is about him and— whatever fucked up thing he has going on with Sleep.
[Cult shit, though not spoken, drifts beneath her words, curdled like sour milk. She hates this— she hates this. They're all in this situation because one idiot made a pact that was bad for him. Their worlds are at stake because One can't bear to wean himself off of Sleep's ice-cold tit. And they have someone like Toki blaming himself for how wrong everything has gone?
Breathe. In, then out. In, then out.
There is the sense of fists clenched so tightly that they tremble, an impression that relaxes with every breath. Again, imploring:] It's not your fault.
[It should be obvious that it's not Toki's fault, that things were already heading that way. But One was so nice when he first met him, and he was already talking about Sleep then. What if...?
No, no, bad road to go down. He focuses on Kalmiya instead. She's right. She knows what she's talking about. She has to.
Toki sighs, tries to smile. The attempt at least registers.]
Thanks. I just... feel like I fuck stuff up sometimes.
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chiming
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Date: 2026-01-08 11:36 am (UTC)From:[He's always been so desperate to make friends, but so terrible at it. What if this has just been a bunch of flukes, and everyone's going to leave him eventually?
He tries to push the thought down as soon as he has it. No, he's got no reason to believe any of that. Kalmiya's here, and she's lovely, and all of his other friends are just fine too. He can't just start thinking they'll... betray him or something.
Like Magnus. Shouldn't think about Magnus. He shakes his head, the motion continuing into the Murmur.]
Sorry.
no subject
Date: 2026-02-06 03:53 am (UTC)From:[Cult shit, though not spoken, drifts beneath her words, curdled like sour milk. She hates this— she hates this. They're all in this situation because one idiot made a pact that was bad for him. Their worlds are at stake because One can't bear to wean himself off of Sleep's ice-cold tit. And they have someone like Toki blaming himself for how wrong everything has gone?
Breathe. In, then out. In, then out.
There is the sense of fists clenched so tightly that they tremble, an impression that relaxes with every breath. Again, imploring:] It's not your fault.
no subject
Date: 2026-02-06 06:32 pm (UTC)From:No, no, bad road to go down. He focuses on Kalmiya instead. She's right. She knows what she's talking about. She has to.
Toki sighs, tries to smile. The attempt at least registers.]
Thanks. I just... feel like I fuck stuff up sometimes.